Aussie Back-Yard

G’day, we’re Aussies, you’ve heard of us before
So why not make Australia yours to explore ?
Now let me tell you, just what we’ve got on show
Desert to rainforest, lakes and mountains of snow

You’ll see Kanga’s, Koala’s and Kookaburra’s too
They’re out there in the bush or in an Aussie zoo
We have Camels, Emus, the Dingo and ol’ Crocodile
But don’t be in a hurry, to see all will take a while

Come explore the beauty of vast wide open spaces
Our backyard stands alone compared to other places
There’s a big red rock in the middle, by name of “Uluru”
Well worth the outback trip and what a majestic-view

Our People are of all types, we come from many tribes
Once you get to know us, you’ll feel the friendly vibes
You’ll find us not a bad mob, good for a laugh or joke
Come and say g’day, most welcome are you tourist-folk.

Some things in our big cities will make you stop and stare
If it’s nightlife you seek, we have glitz and glamour there
We’ve got beaches of golden-sand and foaming-surf
Grand-theatres and sporting fields of the finest-turf

Why not visit our mighty Barrier-Reef to fish or swim?
Or a meteorite-crater, just to stand on the outer-rim
As far as Islands go, we’ve got the biggest one around
So come share with us, plan your next trip Aussie-bound.

Gettin’ Used To Me’ Dentist

The date is set, a Dentist I must see
Although it seems I must, another place I’d rather be
The fateful day is here, in the hall I wait me’ turn
But as the last victim’s out, the ol ’ gut begins to churn

Just then the door opens; I’m summoned with a smile
Please come in now, we’ll be with you in a while
As I lay there on the rack , with a tremble in me’ spine
I’m thinkin’, I’m all “growed up”now, I reckon I’ll be fine

Suddenly there’s a scream, one of awful horror
Just then I thought, I should’ve come here tomorra’
In walks me’ “Fang-Doctor”, please lay back and open wide
I could see there’s no escape, now there’s one on either side

As me’ head’s tilted back, a clamp goes on me’ jaw
It was then I thought, I feel like a “Lion” about to roar
Out come a huge-needle; sorry, you may feel a little prick
One, two, maybe three; there, that should do the trick

As I glance down, here comes that nasty little grinder
Just relax now; that aching tooth, this is sure to find ‘er
There’s some ‘gnawin’, and sawin’, a bitta’ crunchin’and out it comes
When me’ head’s outta’ that vice, I reckon all that’s left is me’ gums

There’s great relief, as the last shackle comes off me’ arm
I think next time I’m here, I’ll feel a lot more calm
There, there; you’ve been very brave; we’re now setting you free
Me’ chest shot out with pride, yeah; not bad for thirty - three!

Joined At The Souls

I purposely wrote this as either a Eulogy or a Message
for a distant loved one.   Careful; This one may Bite!

As I look back once more to that day of good-bye
A pain cuts me deep, as the tears well in my eye
We were both dealt a hand which was never a fair deal
With despair deeply etched, the wounds will never heal

It’s only now that you are, so very far away
I recall fond memories, to keep my tears at bay
Not a day goes by, without many thoughts of you
It’s the things we shared, that stops me feeling blue

Every time I call you, there’s a tremble in my speech
It offers little comfort, you being so far out of reach
Now please feel reassured, knowing this to be sincere
Time will bring us together, that’s one thing to be clear

While I wait, my thoughts are of the things we used to do
Now my mind keeps bringing forth those images of you
With your long proud stride and that familiar little smile
Those memories I’ll treasure now, making life worthwhile

As time takes me forward, my mind takes me back
I remember you by my side, along that learning track
There were times as we grew, when you’d show us the way
Always keen for adventure, with a plan to better our day

I know you hurt to see us part, but you had no choice
I know your thoughts were for us, but you had no voice
As you commence your journey now, reaching for your goals
You’ll know I’m there with you, for we are joined at the souls.

Scruff Reckons . . .

I`ve got a great memory, I just can`t recall it when I need it most.

If your lucky number is any good, you should only need it once.

If pain eases with time, why do the elderly suffer?

If you`re easy to offend, you‟re hard to befriend.

If you wish to be happy sooner, have less desire.

If you‟ve been watching me do nothing all day, what have YOU been doing all day?

Art is an expression of a unique imagination.

If you never want help, you certainly need it.

I value your opinion, just not at your price.

If you save all your life, you‟ll have none.

If you believe money can`t buy happiness, give me yours and watch me smile.

If you can`t get over it, get around it.

If all else fails, heed the warning.